Embedded Files
by Haley Hart
May 16, 2025When you say the name Lana Del Rey, many people’s minds immediately go to the singer/songwriter’s numerous controversies, most notably her widely discussed, scandalous lyrics that have been criticized time and time again for an alleged romanticization of domestic violence and pernicious relationships.
These claims have been weighing heavy on Del Rey’s career, roughly since the release of her 2014 album “Ultraviolence,” where she sings “He hit me, and it felt like a kiss,” a lyric many at the time were critical of, believing it promoted abusive relationships, portraying unhealthy romantic dynamics as something to strive for.
Other songs of Del Rey’s that have been heavily criticized for the same reasons is the demo version of “Diet Mountain Dew,” where she sings, “Hit me and tell your mine, I don’t know why but I like it,” and “Million Dollar Man,” singing the lyrics, “I don’t know how you get over, get over, someone as dangerous, tainted, and flawed as you,” both lyrics which have been accused of promoting unhealthy power-dynamics within relationships.
Ultraviolence album cover (Photo Credit: Neil Krug)
Lana Del Rey for Wonderland Mag (Photo Credit: Wonderland Mag)
However, this issue is a lot more nuanced than one might originally presume, as Del Rey has been very public regarding her own personal experiences with domestic violence, prompting the argument that her lyrics are less of a promotion, and more of an honest expression of the complexity behind the emotions one experiences during an unhealthy relationship.
Many praise her for this in fact, believing she is simply beginning a necessary conversation about domestic violence through her lyrics and their reflection of the darker, more complicated aspects of romantic relationships.
Numerous fans believe she openly expresses her imperfections and conflicts in these relationships in a way that individuals who have experienced domestic violence can relate to, arguing that it is not “romanticization,” but instead an acknowledgment of certain internal battles one can face in abusive relationships.
Journalist Isabella Castillo, who wrote an article for The State Press on Del Rey’s music, claimed it to be full of “out-dated, anti-feminist ideas.” "Whether it was her intention or not, romanticising domestic abuse is dangerous territory when you have an audience of young, impressionable listeners, or any listeners at all for that matter,” said Castillo.
Other journalists have argued that her lyrics serve more as a representation of empowerment through a new lense, than romanization, with music critic, Lindsay Zoladz claiming Del Rey's portrayal of a woman who “stumbled, fell and picked herself up again” was a more realistic alternative to "empowerment as the default aspiration of the pop star.”
In 2020, Del Rey herself criticised "female writers" who have ruthlessly attacked her for "glamorising abuse," saying her lyrics simply explore "the realities" of emotionally abusive relationships, and strongly advocated that there should be a place for those topics in music."I've been honest about the challenging relationships I've had," Del Rey said. "That's just how it is for many women."
"I think it's pathetic that my minor lyrical exploration detailing my sometimes submissive or passive roles in my relationships has often made people say I've set women back hundreds of years,” Del Rey claimed.
"There has to be a place in feminism for women who look and act like me," she said, "The kind of woman who says no but men hear yes; the kind of women who are slated mercilessly for being their authentic, delicate selves; the kind of women who get their own stories and voices taken away from them by stronger women or by men who hate women."
Many were left displeased with this response, claiming Del Rey didn’t take proper accountability for the potential influence her lyrics have on impressionable audiences. Though it is a fair argument, at the end of the day, it is not the artist’s responsibility to alter their emotional expression to be palatable; they are meant to create art. And if that “art” resonates, that is wonderful, and if it does not, maybe the songs are not for you, and that is perfectly fine.
It is no doubt that critics will continue to slam Del Rey for how her lyrics could be interpreted, though many find relatability and solace in Del Rey’s ability to give a platform for what one internet user called “the full spectrum of female experience,” which some could argue is inherently feminist.
Del Rey's specific “brand” of feminism is not about its ability to empower or inspire, but instead about giving a voice to women who have experienced the complexities of abuse, as Del Rey herself has. Her words are gritty and unfiltered, often disturbing, 100%, but undeniably raw and vulnerable, nonetheless.
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